The Brave One

I just wanted to send a special shout out to my roommate Brave Kendell, for today is his birthing day. It should be noted how Kendell was the world's first Atlanta Braves baseball supporter. Back in the day the Braves were a terrible franchise. They had Dale Murphy, and not a whole lot else. People used to mock Kendell for supporting such a pathetic team. He was the only one who dared to cheer for them. That is why they call him Brave Kendell. Plus, he is also very good at killing spiders. Thank you Brave Kendell for all that you do. Especially for your braveness.

A quick side note, Brave Kendell happens to be really good friends with Dryden Mitchell, the lead singer for the group Alien Ant Farm, and also the channel 5 weather man. Sometimes they like to go to the mall together. They also love going to the movies. It is quite the special thing. Happy birthday Brave Kendell!!!

There is no such thing as a free lunch

Sometime ago, I went on an ambitious adventure with a very good friend of mine, Major Undeclared. While we were roommates attending Utah Valley State College we were told legendary stories from our friend Bourne.

Bourne's grandfather, Lamar, lived some 90 miles north in Logan. According to Bourne, Lamar was a bit of an eccentric. Among his odd behaviors were painting his driveway purple and driving from his home to Layton, Utah everyday to meet up with his twin brother, DeArr, for lunch at the Golden Corral. In fact, we were told if we were if we were to ever drop in Lamar's home around midday he would most certainly take us their for lunch.

A few years later Major and myself found ourselves attending Utah State University, not too far from Lamar's house. Now I will have you know neither one of us is particularly fond of the Golden Corral. Let's be honest here, it's not the greatest food in the world. That said, my first rule is never turn down a free lunch, plus I have to admit few things appeal to me as much as being able to eat as much as I want until I am full.

One day Major and I were particularly hungry. I know many of you are thinking it is pretty low to hit up an old man for a free lunch. Especially since neither one of us had ever met him in our lives. You have to look at it from our point of view though, and that is we were HUNGRY! Not to mention we were college students. Of course we were going to try it!

I will never forget when we parked our car in the church parking lot near his house. A strange feeling of anxiety overcame both of us. Perhaps it was a tinge of guilt. Rather, it could have been not exactly knowing what to say to an old man who had no idea who either of us was. Bourne told us many times he would just invite us straight in, but we were still a bit skeptical. Finally, we got up the courage to knock. Slowly the door answered and there stood Lamar with a bewildered look on his face. We told him we knew Bourne and he smiled and invited us right in.

We went in to find a typical home of a senior citizen. He had pictures of his family all around the room and a collection of some of his art work he had produced throughout the course of his life. He seemed like a nice man, perhaps a little eccentric, but then again aren't we all? He told us all about his boyhood adventures he would share with DeArr. It was easy to see the similarities between the two of them and me and Major. I wondered if he had ever randomly visited a friend's grandfather to try and get a free lunch.

After 45 minutes it became apparent to the both of us that we weren't going to get a free lunch. But that didn't matter, we both kind of felt like we had done a good thing in spending some time with a lonely old man. Then on our way out the door he said, "Next time you stop by I will take you guys to lunch!"

Wow! Our efforts could have actually brought some fruit. "What do you think," Major asked. "Do we go back?" Of course we both knew we had to do it. We had to finish our quest. It wasn't going to be easy, the first visit had taken a lot out of both of us.

A few weeks later we made our return visit to Lamar's. Again, we sat on his couch and listened to his war stories for another 45 minutes. It was becoming very obvious we weren't going to get our lunch. We even began dropping some very shameless hints that it was getting close to lunch time and we were getting hungry.

Finally we gave up our dream. We were both pretty devastated. What more could we have done? Needless to say we were none too thrilled with Bourne. In a matter of two weeks we had visited his grandfather more times than Bourne had in five years and had a lot less lunch to show for it.

Some years later we finally found ourselves eating lunch at the Golden Corral, but this was on our own accord. It was the only way we could put the situation behind us. And to be honest, I have never had a more therapeutic meal in my entire life. It probably won't be the last time either. I am sure the day will soon come when me and Major meet up every day to eat lunch there. After all, it seems to be part of the great circle of life.

From Henceforth you Shall be Known as Darth Bombay

From time to time I like to reflect on some of the paramount moments of my early childhood. It seems whenever I do this a certain movie is often pushed to the forefront of my memories. I am certain it is a film that has touched the lives of all those who have seen it. Of course I am referring to the Mighty Ducks. Even as you, the reader, examine these words you are thinking of the feelings you experienced the first time you witnessed the "flying v".

But what really made this motion picture so epic? I don't think anyone could argue it is because of the development of one of the truly great hero/villains in cinematic history. Gordon Bombay is a twisted wreck of a human being who finds peace in teaching children how to fly.

At first, he is someone who turns to career success and alcohol to compensate for the lack of love in his life. Even when Gordon is at his absolute lowest point it is easy to see that there is still good in him. The thing that makes him so powerful is his ability to overcome his demons and still teach some underprivileged children the meaning of teamwork and a sense of accomplishment.

The question of what made Gordon stray forever lingers in my mind. How could a child who was deemed the chosen one of Minnesota Pee-Wee hockey turn to the dark side of life? Disney provides snippets of background to this fabulous story, but so much more could be developed. A prequel to the Mighty Ducks is a necessary step to allow all of Gordon's fans the peace they deserve in knowing his illustrious tale.

I urge the kind people at Walt Disney to consider this potential masterpiece. The Mighty Ducks: Episode I, the Phantom Mallard could be a budding success. Mine is not a lone voice, for there is a group continuously garnering support for this brilliant idea. Please seek out this group, for it has the means of changing the world. If your desires are pure go to this link: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=22674410879

Let your voice be heard! Quack! Quack! Quack!

The Story of the Gender-Confused Cat

I would like to tell you all about my sister's cat, Milo. Milo is not your typical orange tabby cat. Milo has severe gender identity issues that stem back to its days as a kitten. You see, when my two sisters talked my Mom into letting them get Milo they did so on the pet store's word that Milo was a boy. My Mom didn't want them to get a girl cat because she didn't want to get it fixed and she didn't want to deal with it having kittens. "Oh sure, this one's a boy," the pet store associate told my sister. "See, you can tell."

The problem is not everyone in this world is aware of what makes a cat a boy and what makes a cat a girl. Turns out Milo is a girl. They were all able to conceal it from my Mom for the first two years. Then mysteriously Milo became pregnant. My sisters used the same explanation that Jeff Goldblum used in Jurassic Park for the dinosaurs reproducing in the wild. "Well, he used to be a boy Mom!" they told her. "It's just nature's way of saying life will find a way!"

As you can imagine, Milo has suffered through a very confusing life. To make matters worse, Milo was a terrible mother. She allowed her first batch of kittens to be eaten by a dog. Well, maybe she didn't allow it, but it did happen. Milo still freaks out whenever she hears the sound of a baby kitten. Part from the trauma of losing a litter, part from the trauma of having a litter when you aren't supposed to.

This isn't the only ordeal Milo has been through. A few years later my Mom decided she needed to get Milo fixed. She took Milo into the vet to get the procedure taken care of only to discover Milo had already been fixed. Turns out our crazy neighbor didn't agree with a boy cat having kittens. She did the only thing she thought would stop the problem. She took Milo to the vet and had her fixed...and didn't tell anyone about it! So Milo has been fixed twice...and counting!

My sisters think Milo is great. Milo doesn't know what to think. They will take pictures of Milo with a ribbon and a bow and then turn around and take a picture of her with a necktie on. My brother and I have long been in support of giving Milo the recognition she deserves. She deserves to be recognized as a girl. I am sure all of you who have read this tale would agree. After all, it can be very confusing to have a name that suggests you are one gender when you are really another. We came up with the solution to re-name the cat Beverly, in tribute to the great author Beverly Cleary. If Beverly Cleary doesn't scream feminine, I don't know what does. Unfortunately, our pleas have gone on deaf ears and the cat remains known as Milo. A sad story for a sad creature.

2008 NBA Finals

The 2008 NBA Finals are finally upon us. Tomorrow night the most anticipated finals match-up in 2o years starts when the Boston Celtics host the Los Angeles Lakers in game 1 of the best-of-seven series.

Let me preface this by saying I am a die hard Celtics fan and as such I am more excited than just about anyone that they are finally playing for a championship again. That said, I am surprised at how little respect they are getting from the national media. I am willing to admit I may have my fan goggles on. Perhaps I am overlooking their weaknesses and/or the Lakers strengths. However, they did win 66 regular season games, including a stellar 25-5 mark against the superior Western Conference. True, they struggled mightily in their first two series against the Atlanta Hawks and Cleveland Cavaliers and many of their weaknesses were made glaringly evident, such as their inability to defend teams that are good in transition. Still, I think they were starting to get back to form in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Detroit Pistons. I was relieved they were able to get two road wins, and was especially impressed with their series clinching victory in game 6.

The Lakers ran through the West, and this coupled with the fact they have the league's best player have made them media darlings. It is hard to argue with the success of both the team and Kobe Bryant as an individual. He is finally proving he has what it takes to make his teammates around him better players. The Lakers offense is unbelievable. Their mid-season addition of Pau Gasol had made them nearly impossible to defend. If anyone is up to the task it is the Celtics, who led the NBA in most of the league's defensive categories during the season.

This series is exciting not just for the history of the rivalry, but also the intrigue of the potential match ups. I think one of the biggest keys to the Celtics being able to win is their two wingmen, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen. Bryant will most likely guard one of the two and the other needs to step up big time. If the Lakers use Bryant to guard Rajon Rondo and allow him to roam, as has been suggested, both players as well as Rondo need to make them pay. The Celtics will also have their hands full trying to decide whether they want Kevin Garnett to guard Gasol or Lamar Odom.

I am picking the Celtics to win the series in six games. Call it a homer pick if you'd like, but I think the one thing that seems to be getting neglected in all of the series hype is that historically the best defensive team always beats the best offensive team. I think this will be the case in this series. Look for the Celtics to be able to control the tempo for the most part and limit Kobe Bryant's productivity.

To all of my fans

It is high time that I, Charles DeMarr, enter the illustrious world of blogging. Over the past few years I have met numerous people who have been impressed with some of my work reviewing music on itunes. They will come up to me on the street and say things like, "Hey Charles, we really appreciate what you do on itunes. You'd make a great blogger." Or maybe, "Charles, if you had a blog I don't think I would read anything else." Such high praise, and it is to these fans I dedicate this blog. It is truly an honor to be recognized by so many people everywhere I go. It is a stark contrast to my humble beginnings as a young blacksmith growing up in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. It is true I have my critics as well, like the one person who referred to me as "stupid" for my accusations of Disney remaking Bambi when they made the Lion King. Or the individual who said my criticism of Mario Lanza was sophomoric. I invite such naysayers to leave now. You know who you are. If you can't handle the world of Charles DeMarr this site is not for you.