I Want You to Make Some Friends This Summer....Lots of Them!

Social networking. It seems like overnight this radical new sensation has popped its head into all of our lives. Whether it be through Facebook, Twitter, or Myspace chances are you or someone you know is hooked on social networking. Ok, so I was kidding about Myspace. Who on earth uses Myspace?

Social Networking has truly revolutionized the way people interact with each other. Pretty soon things like email and calling friends on the telephone will be a thing of the past. Who needs to do something so personal when you can just look up their information on Facebook? Or you can just get a twitter message sent to your phone. That way you can know that Joe is at the grocery store buying milk and you won't even have to hear about Sue and the kids.

Someone recently told me they were Facebook holdouts until they were told Facebook is like People magazine, except with people you know. Sign me up! One of my favorite features about facebook is how it says right on your page how many friends you have. Someone found a way to stay popular when they got out of high school. "I am so much cooler than you because I have 459 friends and you only have 221." Nevermind that most of those friends are people they will never talk to again. It is all about the social status attached with the number.

It is for that reason you can never turn down a friend request. Just the other day a girl I have never met in my life requested me to be a friend. I thought to myself, "Sure, why not? Who could say no to a friend?" I clicked the accept button and I had just made a new "friend". The thought never entered my mind that this person would actually want to interact with me. A few hours later I had a note posted to my wall that read, "Charles, you are one hunk of a man. Here is my email address....Kiss."

Now, I would like to consider myself a fairly open person. I am not opposed to making new friends. However, when someone tries to get me to show p.d.a. on the internet they have crossed the line! Fortunately, on Facebook you have the option of removing such posts from your wall, which i quickly did. I mean, I don't want all of my friends thinking I am kissing people I don't even know.

When I told this story to my Mom*, she responded, "Well, why did you accept her friend request?" I was flabbergasted. Say no to a friend request? Was she out of her mind? Perhaps she doesn't realize we are in the age when saying no to a friend isn't an option. Not when everyone in the world can see how many friends you have.

I mean, I hadn't said no to someone wanting to be my friend since...Oh, that was a dark day. I still think about it often. I was back in high school then. Those were the days when bowl cuts were cool and Chumbawumba was still Tubthumping the night away.

In my high school there was two possible times during the day when you were assigned to eat lunch. They brilliantly labeled them as first and second lunch. My friend Nick and I were the only ones of our group of friends who had first lunch. One day, Nick was in line getting food at Taco Bell while I waited at the table with the lunch my Mom made me. Just when I was about to bite into a delicious peanut butter sandwich I was approached by two kids. They asked me if they could sit by me. I remember thinking to myself, "They think I am sitting here all by myself because I am a loser and I don't have any friends!" I didn't know how to react. I didn't really want to sit with them, but how do you get out of the situation? Well, I'll tell you how. You say no. That's what I did. They both had an astonished look on their faces as if they had reached an all time low. I mean, to be rejected by someone with apparently no friends is very degrading... And before you start judging me, I felt really bad about saying no. It was just a knee jerk reaction. If I could do it all over again I would let them sit with me.

Those days have long since passed, though. Now you don't have the luxury of saying no to someone who wants to be your friend. It's a dog eat dog world and if you don't have enough friends on Facebook to back you up, you will sooner or later get eaten.

*Yes, the great Charles DeMarr still talks to his mom.

An Ode to Bourbon

Every so often an invention or idea is presented to mankind that changes the way society functions. These things don't come along often, but when they do their impacts are undeniable.

Imagine what life was like prior to the 1440's when Gutenberg invented the printing press. The masses were largely uneducated and the transfer of information was extremely time consuming.

Think about growing up before Alexander Graham Bell invented the first practical telephone. How revolutionary it must have been to be able to talk to someone in a different town as if they were in the same room.

Recently another creation of that magnitude has come to the forefront of humanity. Of course I am talking about the Kentucky Bourbon Burger from Carl's Jr. If you have yet to experience this wondrous feast, you simply must do so.

Never before has a fast food establishment created something so delicious. It has moved Carl's Jr. ahead of McDonald's, Burger King, and dare I say even Wendy's in the realm of the fast food empire.

I will never forget my first experience trying the Kentucky Bourbon Burger. I had seen several of the commercials. Despite Carl's Jr's less than appealing advertising I thought it would be worth trying. I had grossly underestimated what I was getting into. My first couple of bites were filled with uncertainty. The taste was so unique I wasn't sure how to respond. A few more bites and I was starting to understand it's brilliance. Finally, after I had swallowed the last bite I knew I had just eaten a masterpiece.

Sadly, one of the things separating the Kentucky Bourbon Burger from some of these other innovations is it will only be available to us for a limited time. What would it have been like if Philo T. Farnsworth had finished working on the television and never did anything with it. I can picture someone asking him if he was going to try to get the television distributed to mass audiences and him replying, "Nah, it's not that cool. Now who wants to go bowling?"

Nevertheless, the demise of the Kentucky Bourbon Burger seems to be unavoidable. I have spent the past few weeks preparing for my season of discontent much like a squirrel prepares for winter by gathering acorns. I can't even tell you how many times I have checked my mailbox hoping to get coupons from Carl's Jr. only to reach in and find disappointment. Yet, I continue to eat there, because if the winter is inevitable I must be ready when it hits. For when the Kentucky Bourbon Burger leaves Carl's Jr. for good, so do I.

Bucks Aquire Eliason in Fan Swap

Logan, Utah- The Milwaukee Bucks acquired longtime Utah Jazz fan Kendell Eliason Tuesday in exchange for Bucks fan Peter Robert Casey and future considerations.

Eliason had been a Jazz fan since 1993 and was part of the fan base during the team's only two NBA Finals appearances in 1997 and 1998. He also spent time as a Phoenix Suns fan.

The Jazz had been shopping Eliason for the past month after the team's general manager, Kevin O'Conner, had announced the team's intention to rebuild the fan base for the future.

"We feel this is a move that will help us build for tomorrow," O'Conner said. "Obviously we are sad to see Kendell go, but ultimately it was time for both of us to move in different directions."

O'Conner said the Jazz will release Casey, who was included in the deal to make salaries match up.

"The bottom line is we didn't think we could afford to keep Kendell with us for what he was asking," O'Conner said. "He wanted his cake and he wanted to eat it too."

Eliason made no secret about his desire to remain with the Jazz. He said he will be leaving a lot of fond memories of being a Jazz fan behind.

"I have had some great times cheering for Utah and I would have loved to have been a Jazz fan for life," Eliason said. "I guess it wasn't meant to work out that way though."

The Bucks hope Eliason will provide them with the fan experience to reach the Eastern Conference playoffs this spring.

"I think I have the opportunity to be part of something special with Milwaukee," Eliason said. "Anytime you have guys like Andrew Bogut and Richard Jefferson on a team there is going to be a reason for me to cheer."