The Story of the Gender-Confused Cat

I would like to tell you all about my sister's cat, Milo. Milo is not your typical orange tabby cat. Milo has severe gender identity issues that stem back to its days as a kitten. You see, when my two sisters talked my Mom into letting them get Milo they did so on the pet store's word that Milo was a boy. My Mom didn't want them to get a girl cat because she didn't want to get it fixed and she didn't want to deal with it having kittens. "Oh sure, this one's a boy," the pet store associate told my sister. "See, you can tell."

The problem is not everyone in this world is aware of what makes a cat a boy and what makes a cat a girl. Turns out Milo is a girl. They were all able to conceal it from my Mom for the first two years. Then mysteriously Milo became pregnant. My sisters used the same explanation that Jeff Goldblum used in Jurassic Park for the dinosaurs reproducing in the wild. "Well, he used to be a boy Mom!" they told her. "It's just nature's way of saying life will find a way!"

As you can imagine, Milo has suffered through a very confusing life. To make matters worse, Milo was a terrible mother. She allowed her first batch of kittens to be eaten by a dog. Well, maybe she didn't allow it, but it did happen. Milo still freaks out whenever she hears the sound of a baby kitten. Part from the trauma of losing a litter, part from the trauma of having a litter when you aren't supposed to.

This isn't the only ordeal Milo has been through. A few years later my Mom decided she needed to get Milo fixed. She took Milo into the vet to get the procedure taken care of only to discover Milo had already been fixed. Turns out our crazy neighbor didn't agree with a boy cat having kittens. She did the only thing she thought would stop the problem. She took Milo to the vet and had her fixed...and didn't tell anyone about it! So Milo has been fixed twice...and counting!

My sisters think Milo is great. Milo doesn't know what to think. They will take pictures of Milo with a ribbon and a bow and then turn around and take a picture of her with a necktie on. My brother and I have long been in support of giving Milo the recognition she deserves. She deserves to be recognized as a girl. I am sure all of you who have read this tale would agree. After all, it can be very confusing to have a name that suggests you are one gender when you are really another. We came up with the solution to re-name the cat Beverly, in tribute to the great author Beverly Cleary. If Beverly Cleary doesn't scream feminine, I don't know what does. Unfortunately, our pleas have gone on deaf ears and the cat remains known as Milo. A sad story for a sad creature.

2008 NBA Finals

The 2008 NBA Finals are finally upon us. Tomorrow night the most anticipated finals match-up in 2o years starts when the Boston Celtics host the Los Angeles Lakers in game 1 of the best-of-seven series.

Let me preface this by saying I am a die hard Celtics fan and as such I am more excited than just about anyone that they are finally playing for a championship again. That said, I am surprised at how little respect they are getting from the national media. I am willing to admit I may have my fan goggles on. Perhaps I am overlooking their weaknesses and/or the Lakers strengths. However, they did win 66 regular season games, including a stellar 25-5 mark against the superior Western Conference. True, they struggled mightily in their first two series against the Atlanta Hawks and Cleveland Cavaliers and many of their weaknesses were made glaringly evident, such as their inability to defend teams that are good in transition. Still, I think they were starting to get back to form in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Detroit Pistons. I was relieved they were able to get two road wins, and was especially impressed with their series clinching victory in game 6.

The Lakers ran through the West, and this coupled with the fact they have the league's best player have made them media darlings. It is hard to argue with the success of both the team and Kobe Bryant as an individual. He is finally proving he has what it takes to make his teammates around him better players. The Lakers offense is unbelievable. Their mid-season addition of Pau Gasol had made them nearly impossible to defend. If anyone is up to the task it is the Celtics, who led the NBA in most of the league's defensive categories during the season.

This series is exciting not just for the history of the rivalry, but also the intrigue of the potential match ups. I think one of the biggest keys to the Celtics being able to win is their two wingmen, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen. Bryant will most likely guard one of the two and the other needs to step up big time. If the Lakers use Bryant to guard Rajon Rondo and allow him to roam, as has been suggested, both players as well as Rondo need to make them pay. The Celtics will also have their hands full trying to decide whether they want Kevin Garnett to guard Gasol or Lamar Odom.

I am picking the Celtics to win the series in six games. Call it a homer pick if you'd like, but I think the one thing that seems to be getting neglected in all of the series hype is that historically the best defensive team always beats the best offensive team. I think this will be the case in this series. Look for the Celtics to be able to control the tempo for the most part and limit Kobe Bryant's productivity.

To all of my fans

It is high time that I, Charles DeMarr, enter the illustrious world of blogging. Over the past few years I have met numerous people who have been impressed with some of my work reviewing music on itunes. They will come up to me on the street and say things like, "Hey Charles, we really appreciate what you do on itunes. You'd make a great blogger." Or maybe, "Charles, if you had a blog I don't think I would read anything else." Such high praise, and it is to these fans I dedicate this blog. It is truly an honor to be recognized by so many people everywhere I go. It is a stark contrast to my humble beginnings as a young blacksmith growing up in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. It is true I have my critics as well, like the one person who referred to me as "stupid" for my accusations of Disney remaking Bambi when they made the Lion King. Or the individual who said my criticism of Mario Lanza was sophomoric. I invite such naysayers to leave now. You know who you are. If you can't handle the world of Charles DeMarr this site is not for you.